words actually.

we all start as a strangers. and then you are not a stranger anymore. and you are not a lover. you are a fantasy. the bits of you that i know. i know nothing. yet. i imagine so much. how you would come to me. how it would feel to touch you. how your lips would feel. how your body would move. how you imagine too. ah. and then the reality. the more i know. the worse you are. the not knowing is better. the switch from the knowing and not knowing. the temptation. and then again. do i want to know? fantasy is exciting. picking clues. waiting for the moment. or for the moments. discussing and putting everything together. it is fun. it is a rush of adrenaline. and as much as i am tempted. i would almost rather stay here and forever wait. playing with two worlds.

It was a particularly shitty day for her.  She was feeling trapped for a while now and she was at the same time doing everything she could to escape the situation and on the other hand almost enjoying this. When you realise you are trapped, this also means there is a way out of it and that also means you can stagnate before opening next door.  Well, she was like a fog that day. Started her day later than she should and slowly, with only a tiny bit of guilt, went to that place which caused all of that. She didn't event tried to put a smile on and pretend its fine, "Nope, not today," she was telling herself. She said hi to people, turned on her computer, carefully putted on her headphones, plugged them in and searched for the playlist that would fit her mood. "Hmmm, let's search for Fuck my life and get me out of here  kind of playlist."  "Ahh, here it is, should we go with Life sucks  or with Move on & don't look back ?"  ...