short story, first

From the day she was born she started to learn how to be perfect. She tried to do everything right, exactly how it was expected from society. Mama had read her a story which taught her to be always nice, neat and must respect the elderly. She didn’t remember the title, because it didn’t matter and all the beautiful pictures in the book didn’t matter. She was curious though, but she kept quiet, because that is the right thing to do. Then the first day of school started and she made some friends. She gave them some candies her mama bought. She was very polite and very nice. When the next day came to school she didn’t have candies but either way friends came to her and she belonged. But they weren’t as nice she was. They were loud in the classroom. But mama warned her that not all the people are nice. And not being nice is very wrong. So she kept being nice and everybody loved her. She would do anything for anybody. And when she learned to read she loved to read her mama’s women’s magazines. She was growing older and she needed to learn how to handle different kind of social interactions. When she was thirteen she learned she can’t always be nice. People stated to get annoyed by her kindness. It took her some nerves to figure it out what she must do. And then she found some article on the web. To stay close to the people you must tell some dirty secrets. Firstly she didn’t know what to say, so she searched further and found some dirty secrets of some people on the internet. She memorized them and told them to her friends next day. She wasn’t stupid though. She told only the stories that were believable. And she gained some trust again. She also read she must tell badly of her friends when they weren’t around. But she wasn’t stupid thought. She didn’t talk big about others mistakes. She couldn’t because she was raised to be nice. Then the puberty struck. She didn’t really know who she was. So she stated again with her mamas magazines. Actually she never really stopped reading them, but this situation was craving for research. She had to find a boyfriend by being hot, sexy, nice, shy, aggressive, confident, modest, outgoing, loving and so on. She learned how and when to be everything and more. She was the perfect women. She even knew how to blow a dick properly. Everything went her way. She owned everybody because she has learned what to say, when to say it and how to say it. She was felling marvelous. But despite all something inside of her didn’t felt right. She didn’t really know what it was but it was there. She was feeling it for a long time but her mama told her it was nothing and she shouldn’t complain for nothing because people don’t like you if you complain all the time. So she put her smile back on the face and went being perfect again.

She was lying in her freshly made bed and couldn’t fall asleep. She just recently read what to do in such occasions. She went towards the window and set on the desk. She opened a window and searched for the stars. She was never really herself. And now all the pain that was suppressed came into surface. But you couldn’t see it. If you were there you wouldn’t notice all the pain. She kept her beautiful smile. She grabbed a piece of paper and for the first time in her life, wrote a fuck you. Then she jumped through the window.